"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
Meet my friend Suzy Ivy. She is a fellow blogger and I love to follow her parenting adventures as she homeschool's 4 little princess's. She is brave, funny, full of joy and wonder, and super creative. You can follow her here...http://capturethesparkle.com/
BUT...even though she always has little's running around....the thoughts of you are ALL ALONE....creeps into her mind.
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I am surrounded by my army of four self declared Princesses ALL THE TIME. I am never alone. My youngest (age 18 months) is very attached to me. Rarely does she leave my side or rather her stance between my legs, hugging my knees, tripping me all day long. NEVER alone.
Surrounded by little people constantly begging for my attention, my days long and full, and yet isolated in my daily thought life, in my struggles, mundane as they may be. Rarely having a real conversation with someone over 4 feet tall before 8pm.
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
I’m good at clinging to these words in my moments of utter desperation - during past struggles of infertility, job loss, illness, miscarriage, struggles in my marriage - I clung, and I clung hard to the God who is there.
I’m frustrated by my continual struggle to holdfast to a God who is always with me, in my daily existence of sweeping the floor, running the laundry again and again, kissing boo-boos, cuddling little ones until I have no more snuggles left, and feeling utterly void of any desire to touch another human being ever again. God do you care that all these little people are always TOUCHING me?!?
In the midst of mind numbing rounds of “but why” interrogation from my 3 year old followed by an epic tantrum over water spilled on a favorite tutu - I choose to remember God really cares about this truly small stuff, the stuff my life is composed of. For nothing “neither height nor depth nor anything else in all creation will separate us from the love of God” (Romans 8:39).
This is my current journey. I certainly haven’t mastered how to not feel alone and abandoned in the 5 o’clock hour, exhausted, wishing for my back up to arrive, but knowing he’s still about 2 hours from arrival. I haven’t conquered the anger my aloneness can breed. But I am consciously choosing to believe the God of the universe is with me and that He cares and doesn’t mind my prayers about the small stuff - even about that wet tutu and the dinner that was made, but no one ate.