Coaching and journeying with others outside my home is easy peezy. I invest in others and I usually see results. Whether it be someone who had learned how to do a box jump for the first time, succeeded in a new business venture, or learned how to truly love themselves, we get to celebrate the results. I have the awesome opportunity to pour into lives and see others succeed. There is nothing better than seeing someone succeed in the gifts, talents and passions God has given them. It's the most beautiful picture God had given me to watch. And I truly want my life question to be: How do I help others flourish? How do I love others so well that helping others grow and become the best version of who God made them is my life purpose.
BUT....
Where this question must be answered first is in the hardest place, MY HOME. I must love and help others flourish day in and day out in my own home, where results arn't always seen immediately. I have found it has been easier for me to love others well, to help others flourish outside my home. But the thing that hit me this week, is the hard time I have growing and loving the people closest to me. In my own home, under my own feet, the people who are my whole freaking awesome world, who I see every single day of my life. These are the people I need to love, grow, and help flourish, yet this is where the hard part for me lies.
AGAPE LOVE IS:
"Unconditional love that is always giving and impossible to take or be a taker. It devotes total commitment to seek your highest best no matter how anyone may respond. This form of love is totally selfless and does not change whether the love given is returned or not.
Agape love means unconditional, unselfish, expecting nothing in return.
AGAPE LOVE IS NOT:
- Getting irritated because your husband didn't get you flowers on valentines day even when you told him we weren't celebrating this week.
- Having ridiculous expectations. Because as my wise friend Tiffany says, "Expectations are just pre-meditated resentment."
- Getting irritated when you have cleaned up the "pretty" room 3000 times only to have it called a disaster site 10 minutes later. (pretty room=no toys, play room=toys) I mean we have an entire room just for the kiddos, why they insist on being in my "pretty" room is beyond me
- Probably not having a "pretty room!"
- Easily angered.
- Losing patience with your 5-year-old when he asks for his valentines candy 29724837 times in a 30 minute time span. With always the answer being a resounding NO! SUGAR KILLS! (not really, but almost)
AGAPE LOVE is NOT:
- Doing 6 loads of laundry in 1 day (which happens never), cleaning the house, changing poops, making allergy-free dinner, and taking kids to the library with a heart that says, " I better get some thank you's when I get home. "
- Doing the most mindless task half-heartedly. (like making my kid's lunches. Why is that the hardest thing to do EVER? Who wants at the end of the day, when you are so ready to finally relax to have to scrounge around and find enough food that could actually be called a "lunch."
AGAPE LOVE IS:
- Patience, kindness, love without ends, forgiving when feelings are hurt and expectations arn't met.
- Love is love!
- Loving my Holdie and holding him close when he's whiny and tired and cries on a dime.
- Encouraging my husband to pursue his dreams even if it means sacrificing some of my own comfort and security.
- Saying "yes" a whole lot more than saying "no" just because it inconveniences me.
- Asking forgiveness as soon as I snap at one of my kids.
- Counting to 5 before I respond to my child who has "lost their ever-loving mind" or the critique of an adult that has stung.
I have a ton to learn and have kicked my own self in the tail with this post. Here's to helping others succeed and flourish especially those closet to us.
Now I am going to go hug my kids and send my husband a note of encouragement.