My husband and I love fitness, we love athletics. It is just who we are and what we do. I have been an athlete my entire life. Basketball, triathlons, cross fit- you name it. My husband played baseball, soccer, and even had a stint on the national duathlon team. So here's the deal- we LOVE fitness- and it still took us NINE YEARS OF MARRIAGE to figure out how to be supportive, healthy, positive workout partners for one another. And when I say workout "partners," that doesn't mean just working out together.
So these are the lessons learned about bringing joy into your marriage through fitness as opposed to bringing resentment, anger, and my favorite pastime nagging.
When Grant and I first got married, we both wanted to live a healthy lifestyle. I had a more relaxed approach, I was a former athlete, I wanted to stay fit, but I didn't need to workout everyday. I was an extrovert and if I wasn't working out with someone else, "what was the point" ? I wasn't hard and fast about my workout regiment. This was because I didn't find something that I particularly loved doing (which is key) so it was more of a "to do" list. My husband saw working out as "His calm time." He is an introvert and working out to him was getting all the junk off at the end of the day so he could be fully present with me. Stress gone=fully present. However, I didn't see it this way because we didn't communicate well. I saw him doing his workout before coming home from work, as more important than spending time with me. He saw his workout as something that he needed to do so he could be the best husband he could be emotionally. So long story short, it was a long time until we finally understood each other. Years of irritation from me, and resentment from him built up. Instead of fitness being something we shared together, it was a source of friction.
The funny thing is we both loved being active. We didn't do the exact same things, but the overall theme of sweating and being healthy was a shared interest. He likes working out alone, I like working out with him.
It took us 9 years to figure this thing out, but we finally have. Instead of being resentful when Grant needs to get a workout in, I now with a genuine heart am interested in his training and encourage it. I know it means a lot to him and all in all he just wants to be the best spouse and dad he can be. Who can get mad at him for that? Now that I have something I look forward to (crossfit) and can for the first time keep up with my husband in a workout, we try to workout with each other twice a week or at least one day on the weekend. This is more for me, then Grant. He's a loner "workouter", but he knows his wife loves time spent, so he spends it with me. We might be doing different things, but were in the same room, enjoying something together, and busting each other's chops as we do it.
I tell you this story, not to make you feel like you have to workout with your spouse or even like the same thing that they do. But I do really believe that we should make them a part of something that becomes important to us and changes us in greater ways.
When one spouse starts to live a healthy lifestyle and it starts to change their energy level, their overall wholeness aspect, we sometimes accidentally leave our spouse or significant other in the dust. They might feel guilty for not doing the same things we do, they might even make fun of us for it...But it's probably because they never felt like part of the process. So maybe if we engage our partner in a conversation. Tell them why working out or eating right has become important to us. Would they like to join you, and if not, is there a way we can involve them in the process so they don't feel left behind or feel like something is taking precedence over them. And do not NAG them for not being on the same page. NEVER EVER WORKS. But patience and being inclusive does.
Overall, our main desire is to love each other wholeheartedly. Share what matters to one another, and encourage each other in that process. There is no better cheerleader to have then that of your spouse or significant other. I know this first hand. I have a spouse who is choked up before my competitions and is the one always at the finish line. And I hope he sees the same love and encouragement from me.