But I also see the struggle. Not all days are filled with celebration and personal bests. Some days I just see the grind, the grit, and the struggle to finish something. Sometimes I see failure and disappointment.
No one wants to experience these things and I grimace when I see my girls struggle with something. I want them to WIN every single day. Heck, I WANT to win every single day. As much as I yell at them in love of course, inspirational sayings like: "finish strong," and "you are only going to get out what you put in," it does secretly pain me to see them try hard and fail.
Last week this happened. I have a particular Khopper that I adore. She is strong and she is tenacious. She has come a long way and is stronger then she thinks she is. But last week was hard. She struggled with lifting a weight she felt she could easily have lifted. She was disappointed with herself and I know she left feeling defeated. It pained me to watch her struggle, to fail that particular day. Some days we have it, some days we don't. This is the struggle of doing hard things. But it still doesn't make it any easier to experience.
I thought about this most of the day. It's amazing how many times the struggle with the barbell or whatever physical aspect we are trying to conquer seems to relate to life in general. There is beauty in the struggle. If we were to win everyday, and if it was easy everyday, we would never get to prove to ourself that we can overcome something that's really tough. The celebration wouldn't be as big or mean as much when we actually get it. Because we will get it, it's just going to take some time.
I started to think about this in my own life. I don't like the hard, the struggle. I want it to come easy in work, in life, in parenting, in marriage. The struggle, the not-getting-it or succeeding the first time seems wasteful and defeatist. Many times I think I am tough and I will push through, but I had to really think about the last time I kept at something I didn't immediately succeed at. Many times I just move on to something I can master. Many times I don't take the time to do the WORK, to feel the struggle, and to finally conquer after weeks, maybe months, maybe years of putting the effort in.
Watching my girl struggle was a great eye opener for me in the daily throws of life and gave me some tips to work on myself:
1. Don't stop when it gets hard.
Don't move on to the thing you know you can succeed in. Don't let it go. Keep after it. Day in and day out. Whatever it is, a dream, a task, a goal. Put in the hard work, the grunt work, the boring work.
2. Expect and Lean into the struggle.
Look at the struggle as something that will benefit you later. You will learn more about yourself in the failures then in the successes. How you act around others, how you self-talk through the struggle and how you persevere will only help you the next time around. Because struggle, pain, and failure will always be there. Lean in instead of trying to get rid of it.
3. Get with people who have struggled and come through the others side.
Find someone who has felt the same thing you have. Whether it is in your marriage, parenting, job, workouts, whatever it is, find someone who has been there and done that! Learn from them, ask them questions, let them speak into your life, even if it is not what you want to hear at the moment.
The struggle is real, press on, lean in, and maybe smile while you're at it.
Love and burpees,
K