I am reading at Naptime diaries abide journal and this passage cut me straight to the core.
"We can't abide or remain in Him if we don't admit that we need Him!" We have to be needy, we have to NEED. I don't like to be needy, it's weak, it's not strong, it's not the image we want to display. We want to help others who are needy, but we don't like to be needy. We want to be the helpers not those in need of help. So we never ask, we just sit in our need and say, "I got it, I have GOT this, no really I got it!" This has been my M.O. for some time so God decided that I needed a whole season of neediness a couple of years ago. You know, just to prove that I couldn't do it on my own.
I took out a whole season to just abide in Him. Nothing else on the agenda just taking the time to remember how to Abide=dwell=inhabit. I needed Christ to inhabit me completely and I in Him. I needed to NEED him.
It doesn't take much however, to go back to my prideful nature and try to do things all on my own. I know where that has gotten me and I don't want to go there again, but that's where I automatically go, dang it!
During this season of change and moving to a different state I find myself in some unfamiliar "soil." Some real unfamiliar territory. Some places I don't know quite how to chart my way...
This passage above was such a beautiful reminder of how "he knows what kind of soil I am in."
I love soil...I am a wannabe gardener. I haven't the foggiest idea of how to garden, but I live vicariously through my friends who do, partaking in their gardening skills, which means I just eat their stuff. One day I am going to have my own garden but for now I'll just like my fake friends on instagram's harvest. Soil is a big part of gardening. It needs to be fertile, well watered, and who knows what else, remember I am not a gardener, but the first two sound right.
Right now my "soil" is different. I am in some new soil. My old soil was easy to take care of. I was in my element- I knew my people and they knew me. I knew what was ahead of me and I was ready to take charge.
God knows I am out of my element here. He knows I am encountering things I have no idea what to do with. HE KNOWS. He is attentive to my every situation. When I looked up the word Attentive it means heedful of the comfort of others. Since I didn't know what heedful meant, I looked that up as well, it means AWARE.
My FATHER is AWARE of my comfort. He knows what could be dangerous to me and could threaten the harvest in my life, and he is keeping careful watch. He is working daily in my life and taking great care of me...I imagine him like the master gardener, kind of like Martha Steward but nicer. He knows exactly how to take care of my soil, he has the right fertilizer, insect repellent, seeds, water, plows, he has the perfect tools to take care of MY EXACT SOIL.
But here is the catch: if I don't acknowledge I need HIM, then I miss this. I miss all of this goodness. I miss His tender loving care. I must be IN NEED OF HIM. I must let go of what I THINK I can accomplish and ask for HELP.
I don't like to ask for help, I like to do it on my own, and God forbid anyone know I can't do it all or keep it all together. But I just can't, none of us can. And when we find ourselves in uncharted soil this is when we need him most. This is when our SOUL needs him most. (sorry for the play on words).
As I was reading all of this about needing him...I looked up into a tree and saw 3 little furry-baby-bird heads peeping up over the top of their nest. Their mouths were wide open and they were HUNGRY. They couldn't fly yet. They couldn't go get their own food. They were in NEED of their mom. After about 20 seconds of their little heads popping up and down their mom hopped onto the branch with a big juicy worm in her mouth. She fed each and everyone of those needy birds. One day later the nest was empty. They were ready to fly....
No matter what "soil" you find yourself in this season of life, he knows what it is. Maybe it is a season of change, sickness, adversity or disappointment, anxiety of the future, success and failure or failure and success. He's ATTENTIVE, he knows, he cares, he is daily taking care of us. Our job is to NEED him and let him tell us when we are ready to FLY....